Post by Marcus on Apr 18, 2005 18:08:15 GMT
...Is that no journalists ask me for my input.
Here is the REAL best 40 albums (and EPs) of all time (I have better things to do than write about 100 Records) That those TV Fatcats didn't want you to know about.
40. The Faux - The Faux
Ace Electro-Riotgrrl-Punk. Like a more threatening Le Tigre. R.I.P.
39. Fugazi - End Hits
This record rocks a fat one. Fugazi at their jazziest and spazzed out.
38. Shoplifting - Shoplifting EP
Named after a Slits song, the charvers in Shoplifting jam their lovely little hearts out in sexy 3.30 songs.
37.The Explosion - Sick Of Modern Art
The Explosion's last record before they morphed into Good Charlotte clones, this is a blast of splintered punk rock.
36. Jesus Lizard - Lash
This live thing is ace, showing a bunch of outtakes and live tracks from all over the worrrrrrld!.
35. Big Black - Bulldozer
I know nothing about this EP other than Steve Albini played on it, and that they had a drum machine, but it sure does rule.
34. Buzzcocks - Love Bites
The Buzzcock's Best record (in my opinion), It even has some sampling at the end.
33. Jesus And Mary Chain - Psychocandy
What more can I say? They re-invented the wheel.
32. Nirvana - Incesticide
Forget 'Nevermind', this is Nirvana's finest hour. A nice slice of outtakes where they're at their most drugged up (and finest, of course). Paaaiiin.
31. AFI - Black Sails In The Sunset
Don't get me wrong, I think AFI are pretentious tits, but Black Sails In The Sunset was one of the best punk records of the 1990s.
30. Jarcrew - Breakdance Euphoria Kids
Burggghhhhhhhhhhhhh.
29. Avenged Sevenfold - Waking The Seventh Trumpet
NO! I meant "Acrobatic Tenement" by At The Drive-In. This LP was ATDI's first full length and those fruity El Paso kids were flown to L.A to record this tornado of a record. They hardly even had words to put onto the songs.
28. Johnny Cash - The incredible...
Johnny Cash was a rebel.
27. Fugazi - The Argument
Fugazi at their most played out. They always had a bizarre take on things, and they sound wary and old on this...but it sounds kickarse.
26. Hot Snakes - Audit In Progress
Ex DLJ charvers playing some punk rock & roll...Ace.
25. Minor Threat - Out Of Step
Minor Threat completely rule in every single way. I don't have to say anything else. BUY THIS RECORD.
24. Outkast - Stankonia
Outkast are great.
23. Outkast - The Love Below
I'll not include the other one because I think it sucks, but "The Love Below" is rad!
22. Bikini Kill - S/t
Recorded by Ian McKaye, This is Bikini Kill at their most staggeringly ace. Kathleen Hanna shouting her little mouth off over inexperienced musicians doesn't sound too good, but..trust me...it is.
21. The Good Life - Album Of The Year
It wasn't the album of 2004, but it was a quite nice country thing. Ever asked yourself "Why is the Bright Eyes singer so miserable?" It's because he can't make songs like this.
20. New Order - Movement
Post Ian Curtis Manchester was bleak, but New Order pumped everything back up with a proto-trance and punk rock crossover.
19. Captain Beefheart - Troutmask Replica
"A fish trapped in a plastic bag is dirty and bulbous, you get me?" I don't even know if those are the lyrics, but It's something like that. DRUGS.
18. Oasis - Definitely Maybe
They go boom swagger swagger, boom boom swagger boom boom boom. Although I don't admit it in public, Oasis are a great band...Well, they were until they released "Whats the story..." then they should have split. But Monobrow brothers dont take the hint.
17.Fugazi - 13 Songs
On this Record, FUGAZI MAKE SKA GOOD. Seriously.
16. X-Ray-Spex - Germfree Adolescents
Poly Styrene is an angry kid. Recorded at the height of the punk explosion, X Ray Spex were stupidly underrated (like the best of them) in their own time. Dumbass labels don't care about real music so they let good music masters gather up dust in the band member's basements instead of re-releasing them, so these records are badasses to find.
15.Jesus Lizard - Goat
David Yin practically has a microphone lodged down his throat for the entirety of this record. This can only be a good thing.
14. Stone Roses - Stone Roses
This record IS, infact, a perfect record. The posers have come along trying to impersonate them, but this record sounds like it could have been recorded yesterday.
13.The Slits - Cut
Although I'm sure that this got it's fair share of fans from it's front cover (Record label executives would rather see nice, clean young girls on front covers, not chubby naked 15 year olds writhing in mud) But aside from the artwork, The Slits' Debut was a completely brilliant record. At the time of recording, Ari Up was 16 years old and her band members were talentless girls who just wanted to be like the boys. As John Peel said, "Their determination to play always won over their shocking lack of real musical motives"
12.Refused - Shape Of Punk To Come
What a pretentious band. They were really great though, And It's been nearly 10 years since this has been out. Wow...
11. Joy Divison - Closer
Recorded just before Ian Curtis died, it's an interesting release as it was released a couple of weeks after his suicide. Curtis was a dick though, he beat his wife, made her do chores while heavily pregnant, while cheating on her at the same time.
10. The Smiths - The Queen Is Dead
As it's on all critic's lists, The album is just a lovely pop record which will be around for all time. This is another pretentious band though.
9.Drive Like Jehu - Yank Crime
"DO YOU COMPUTE? DO YOU COMPUTE?" Hell yeah.
8. Part Chimp - Chart Pimp
This record is a seriously loud one at that. Sonic Youth don't have shmidt on Part Chimp. Fugazi obviously do, but that' s like saying that Zombie-Robots have more control over Zombies. It's just a simple fact.
7.Au Pairs - Sense & Sensuality
Yerr. The original boy/girl vocal punk band. Gang Of Four and The Mekons felt an association with these chaps/chappettes because they played primal rock and roll, mixed with Reggae guitars and mixed together with some Nihilistic Punk Rock to seal it. A disgustingly underrated band, I heard that their singer (Lesley Woods, one of the 'in' lesbians of the late 70s) is a Lawyer now.
6.The Fall - Live At The Witch Trials
Like all bands from Manchester, Mark E Smith is a pretentious git, who also beats his wife and plays in an ace band. This is their first and most under rehearsed. Rad.
5.Johnny Cash - Live At San Quentin
Johnny Cash. After giving his finger to the camera instead of a cheery picture, angering prison security guards, kicking off a riot in numerous prisons, and doing drugs (Which, admittedly, was just his PR business trying to make him sound like a baghead..Why?), this record was released. "The BBC are recording this show tonight...They tell me to act this way, pose this way, stand this way...They just don't get it, you know?" Forget Iggy, Johnny Cash was the original punk rocker. Speaking of Iggy...
4. The Stooges - Funhouse
Still holds the position for 'noisiest record that can still make nice noise'. I know that our generation will think iggy sucks because he let Sum 41 play on his newest record (What a stupid cash-in idea...), but if you just pretend that his ears exploded during a highly amazing gig and then killed himself, this would make you feel much better about this album.
3. Wire - Pink Flag
Colin Newman is better than that twat Kele Oreoreke with his art-fag high/shouty voice. Wire were the best first wave punk band, and shocked people that were interested in music, not tabloid believers like the Sex Pisstols did.
2. Gang Of Four - Entertainment
In the highly stagnant market today, bands that were great in their hey-day were being revived by the NME...Not the original but some bunch of posers that cheapens the meaning of the original band...If it was up to me (IE if you vote for me) Bloc Party, Radio 4, Clor, The Rakes, Franz Ferdinand and ILL NINO (Not because they' have that disco beat, just to show that i'm not messing around) would all be dealt with a swift blow to the crotch. While they are in pain on the floor, they would all be chloroformed and rolled off a bridge, carefully checked so that halfway through flight, they wake up and realise what is happening. Gang Of Four were THE political band. They weren't just using a smelly ole soapbox to shout what they believe, but they used a funky backdrop that wasn't a pathetic beat, but a more toughened, edgier sound...Like punk. Like I said about X RAY SPEX, record labels don't care about real bands so these records are super hard to find, even though they suddenly have tonnes of crappy bands ripping their shtick.
1. My Bloody Valentine - Loveless
Bruirnurrrnurrnrurrrnurrrrrrrrrrrnurrnurnurrrrr. Class.
So There you go. Buy them all.
Here is the REAL best 40 albums (and EPs) of all time (I have better things to do than write about 100 Records) That those TV Fatcats didn't want you to know about.
40. The Faux - The Faux
Ace Electro-Riotgrrl-Punk. Like a more threatening Le Tigre. R.I.P.
39. Fugazi - End Hits
This record rocks a fat one. Fugazi at their jazziest and spazzed out.
38. Shoplifting - Shoplifting EP
Named after a Slits song, the charvers in Shoplifting jam their lovely little hearts out in sexy 3.30 songs.
37.The Explosion - Sick Of Modern Art
The Explosion's last record before they morphed into Good Charlotte clones, this is a blast of splintered punk rock.
36. Jesus Lizard - Lash
This live thing is ace, showing a bunch of outtakes and live tracks from all over the worrrrrrld!.
35. Big Black - Bulldozer
I know nothing about this EP other than Steve Albini played on it, and that they had a drum machine, but it sure does rule.
34. Buzzcocks - Love Bites
The Buzzcock's Best record (in my opinion), It even has some sampling at the end.
33. Jesus And Mary Chain - Psychocandy
What more can I say? They re-invented the wheel.
32. Nirvana - Incesticide
Forget 'Nevermind', this is Nirvana's finest hour. A nice slice of outtakes where they're at their most drugged up (and finest, of course). Paaaiiin.
31. AFI - Black Sails In The Sunset
Don't get me wrong, I think AFI are pretentious tits, but Black Sails In The Sunset was one of the best punk records of the 1990s.
30. Jarcrew - Breakdance Euphoria Kids
Burggghhhhhhhhhhhhh.
29. Avenged Sevenfold - Waking The Seventh Trumpet
NO! I meant "Acrobatic Tenement" by At The Drive-In. This LP was ATDI's first full length and those fruity El Paso kids were flown to L.A to record this tornado of a record. They hardly even had words to put onto the songs.
28. Johnny Cash - The incredible...
Johnny Cash was a rebel.
27. Fugazi - The Argument
Fugazi at their most played out. They always had a bizarre take on things, and they sound wary and old on this...but it sounds kickarse.
26. Hot Snakes - Audit In Progress
Ex DLJ charvers playing some punk rock & roll...Ace.
25. Minor Threat - Out Of Step
Minor Threat completely rule in every single way. I don't have to say anything else. BUY THIS RECORD.
24. Outkast - Stankonia
Outkast are great.
23. Outkast - The Love Below
I'll not include the other one because I think it sucks, but "The Love Below" is rad!
22. Bikini Kill - S/t
Recorded by Ian McKaye, This is Bikini Kill at their most staggeringly ace. Kathleen Hanna shouting her little mouth off over inexperienced musicians doesn't sound too good, but..trust me...it is.
21. The Good Life - Album Of The Year
It wasn't the album of 2004, but it was a quite nice country thing. Ever asked yourself "Why is the Bright Eyes singer so miserable?" It's because he can't make songs like this.
20. New Order - Movement
Post Ian Curtis Manchester was bleak, but New Order pumped everything back up with a proto-trance and punk rock crossover.
19. Captain Beefheart - Troutmask Replica
"A fish trapped in a plastic bag is dirty and bulbous, you get me?" I don't even know if those are the lyrics, but It's something like that. DRUGS.
18. Oasis - Definitely Maybe
They go boom swagger swagger, boom boom swagger boom boom boom. Although I don't admit it in public, Oasis are a great band...Well, they were until they released "Whats the story..." then they should have split. But Monobrow brothers dont take the hint.
17.Fugazi - 13 Songs
On this Record, FUGAZI MAKE SKA GOOD. Seriously.
16. X-Ray-Spex - Germfree Adolescents
Poly Styrene is an angry kid. Recorded at the height of the punk explosion, X Ray Spex were stupidly underrated (like the best of them) in their own time. Dumbass labels don't care about real music so they let good music masters gather up dust in the band member's basements instead of re-releasing them, so these records are badasses to find.
15.Jesus Lizard - Goat
David Yin practically has a microphone lodged down his throat for the entirety of this record. This can only be a good thing.
14. Stone Roses - Stone Roses
This record IS, infact, a perfect record. The posers have come along trying to impersonate them, but this record sounds like it could have been recorded yesterday.
13.The Slits - Cut
Although I'm sure that this got it's fair share of fans from it's front cover (Record label executives would rather see nice, clean young girls on front covers, not chubby naked 15 year olds writhing in mud) But aside from the artwork, The Slits' Debut was a completely brilliant record. At the time of recording, Ari Up was 16 years old and her band members were talentless girls who just wanted to be like the boys. As John Peel said, "Their determination to play always won over their shocking lack of real musical motives"
12.Refused - Shape Of Punk To Come
What a pretentious band. They were really great though, And It's been nearly 10 years since this has been out. Wow...
11. Joy Divison - Closer
Recorded just before Ian Curtis died, it's an interesting release as it was released a couple of weeks after his suicide. Curtis was a dick though, he beat his wife, made her do chores while heavily pregnant, while cheating on her at the same time.
10. The Smiths - The Queen Is Dead
As it's on all critic's lists, The album is just a lovely pop record which will be around for all time. This is another pretentious band though.
9.Drive Like Jehu - Yank Crime
"DO YOU COMPUTE? DO YOU COMPUTE?" Hell yeah.
8. Part Chimp - Chart Pimp
This record is a seriously loud one at that. Sonic Youth don't have shmidt on Part Chimp. Fugazi obviously do, but that' s like saying that Zombie-Robots have more control over Zombies. It's just a simple fact.
7.Au Pairs - Sense & Sensuality
Yerr. The original boy/girl vocal punk band. Gang Of Four and The Mekons felt an association with these chaps/chappettes because they played primal rock and roll, mixed with Reggae guitars and mixed together with some Nihilistic Punk Rock to seal it. A disgustingly underrated band, I heard that their singer (Lesley Woods, one of the 'in' lesbians of the late 70s) is a Lawyer now.
6.The Fall - Live At The Witch Trials
Like all bands from Manchester, Mark E Smith is a pretentious git, who also beats his wife and plays in an ace band. This is their first and most under rehearsed. Rad.
5.Johnny Cash - Live At San Quentin
Johnny Cash. After giving his finger to the camera instead of a cheery picture, angering prison security guards, kicking off a riot in numerous prisons, and doing drugs (Which, admittedly, was just his PR business trying to make him sound like a baghead..Why?), this record was released. "The BBC are recording this show tonight...They tell me to act this way, pose this way, stand this way...They just don't get it, you know?" Forget Iggy, Johnny Cash was the original punk rocker. Speaking of Iggy...
4. The Stooges - Funhouse
Still holds the position for 'noisiest record that can still make nice noise'. I know that our generation will think iggy sucks because he let Sum 41 play on his newest record (What a stupid cash-in idea...), but if you just pretend that his ears exploded during a highly amazing gig and then killed himself, this would make you feel much better about this album.
3. Wire - Pink Flag
Colin Newman is better than that twat Kele Oreoreke with his art-fag high/shouty voice. Wire were the best first wave punk band, and shocked people that were interested in music, not tabloid believers like the Sex Pisstols did.
2. Gang Of Four - Entertainment
In the highly stagnant market today, bands that were great in their hey-day were being revived by the NME...Not the original but some bunch of posers that cheapens the meaning of the original band...If it was up to me (IE if you vote for me) Bloc Party, Radio 4, Clor, The Rakes, Franz Ferdinand and ILL NINO (Not because they' have that disco beat, just to show that i'm not messing around) would all be dealt with a swift blow to the crotch. While they are in pain on the floor, they would all be chloroformed and rolled off a bridge, carefully checked so that halfway through flight, they wake up and realise what is happening. Gang Of Four were THE political band. They weren't just using a smelly ole soapbox to shout what they believe, but they used a funky backdrop that wasn't a pathetic beat, but a more toughened, edgier sound...Like punk. Like I said about X RAY SPEX, record labels don't care about real bands so these records are super hard to find, even though they suddenly have tonnes of crappy bands ripping their shtick.
1. My Bloody Valentine - Loveless
Bruirnurrrnurrnrurrrnurrrrrrrrrrrnurrnurnurrrrr. Class.
So There you go. Buy them all.
